Help for the leaning in partner

Discernment Counseling was developed as a special process because traditional change-oriented marriage or couples therapy is often unhelpful when on one or both partners is ambivalent about working on the marriage.

Helping you decide which path to take

The goal of discernment counseling is to help couples have greater clarity and confidence in their decision making. The immediate decision is framed not as whether to stay together or divorce but whether to continue moving towards divorce or committing to six month effort to restore the marriage, with divorce off the table for that time period.

If you are the “leaning in” partner, you are more motivated to work on the relationship than your partner is. But, nothing you try seems to work. In fact, your efforts may actually be making things worse.

In discernment counseling, we suggest other things you can do that may work better. To start we recommend an excellent book for “Leaning-In” partners written by Michelle Weiner-Davis called “The Divorce Remedy” readily available in your local bookstore or on Amazon.com

If you are making mistakes that are driving your partner away, we encourage you to commit to trying to change those things. Taking leadership (for a while) to make the marriage better for both of you is an important attitude to have in order to perhaps turn things around. Regardless of the ultimate path chosen by you and your partner, in discernment counseling we help you learn more about yourself, how you communicate, how your partner is reacting to you, and the role of a committed relationship in your life.

To learn more or schedule an appointment with your partner, call 714-745-1393 or email me